Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! You know friends, we often
hear about what an endurance contest these races are
for the drivers. Well let me tell you, when you invite
folks over and crank up the daiquiri machine at 7, and
the race doesn't get going until 11, and it's not over
until almost 2 a.m., it's an endurance contest for the
fans, too! Thanks to Cherelle and Ronnie who watched
with me -- though before it was over, both of them had
bailed: Cherelle headed home, and Ronnie passed out!
A pesky rain caused the delay; it might not have had
such an impact had everything in Daytona Beach not
been soaked by days and days of rain. It was 9:31
when Lisa Marie Presley took to the stage to sing
"Thanks" which is said to be about how NASCAR loves
the fans.
It being Independence Day weekend, there was
lots of talk about our military, and Lisa Marie's
denim daisy dukes were just about short enough to give
the soldiers a glimpse of what they're fighting for.
(Sorry, I can never resist quoting Krusty the Klown.)
During the protracted pre-race show, Lip Sinka --
oops, Lisa Marie, I mean -- did a ride-along with
Wally Dallenbach of the NBC crew -- and she later told
the Daytona Beach News Journal that she was really mad
at Wally for scaring her so bad by zooming up the
banks like he was going to slam the wall. Dixie told me on the phone from Daytona that she thought Lisa Marie was right to be angry: "Good grief,
she's got all that money, you know she doesn't want to
die in a stupid car wreck with some guy who's showing
off for TV!"
At 9:45, Dr. Tim McNeil offered the invocation, in
which he referenced the recent weather by quipping,
"our seats may be wet but our enthusiasm is never
dampened." He ended with "shalom and amen," in the
graceful tradition of the Rev. Hal Marchman, the
longtime chaplain of Daytona International Speedway
who recently retired. Singing the National Anthem was
Jojo. Other than having a monkey name, Jojo's big
distinction is that she performed at the Bush
inaugural in January.
Sadly, here followed not racing, but another long
delay. The wretched Donald Rumsfeld gave the start
command on behalf of all the US soldiers whose lives
and families he is destroying. How these Bushies can
still be walking the streets is a mystery to me. THE
WHOLE WORLD KNOWS BUSH AND BLAIR LIED! Bush's lies
clearly pass the "high crimes and misdemeanors" test
for impeachment -- unlike Clinton's lies about Monica.
Thanks to Rep. John Conyers, Dr. Howard Dean and all
who are speaking out about the monstrous lies of the
Bush administration!
By and by, the cars hit the track for a green-yellow
start at 10:40. Finally, at 11 o'clock -- wake up,
Cherelle! -- the green flag waved for pole-sitter Tony
Stewart and the rest of the field. In a little bit,
Jamie, who had started 33rd, was up to 18th in his
Home123.com car. (Y'all, they are having a contest
where you can win a quarter-million for your home
loan! Go there now and enter! I did!)
Before you knew it, we had a multi-car wretch as the
cars piled up behind Jeff Gordon, who was heading to
pit lane. Jeff waved to signal Jamie, who was behind
him. Jamie later said he waved, but there was some
grumbling about whether Jamie had adequately passed
Jeff's wave back through the pack. DeVine 9 1/2 team
members caught up in it included Mark Martin, Jr. and
Casey Mears. While we were under yellow, Elliott
Sadler ran out of gas!
By lap 62, Mikey had worked his way up to 2nd! Then we
had a caution debris. When we restarted at lap 68,
Tony Stewart was still leading and Jamie was 3rd!
Caution came out next when Jeff Green skinned the wall
after losing a tire. Then, our team took a bad hit
when the hard-charging Mikey lost a tire, hit the wall
scarily, and involved other cars, including points
leader (at that time) Greg Biffle, who headed to the
garage.
There was a restart, and after a while, Dave
Blaney was 5th! Don't give up on that Jack
Daniels-powered 07, I tell you! Dave's got something
for us this year. Jamie was running 3rd at lap 100. A
flat tire for Bobby Hamilton Jr. brought out the next
caution. Hey, we saw Ham Jr. hit the wall just like
that in Atlanta! Right after his daddy almost ran over
us with his golf cart in the parking lot! Woo-hoo!
That's racin, y'all!
Directly, the re-erected #6 was back on the track, and
Elliott was our leader in that cute M&Ms car. Then
Tony took it back. Speaking of back, Mikey was back
out, 56 laps down. Ouch. Boris Said spun, then spun
again! "Can't I turn right once in a while?!" road
racer Boris must be saying as he tries to adjust to
oval tracks.
Caution flew on lap 147 for a skiddy spin involving
Carl Edwards and Elliott. My notes show that I made
the following observation -- Kyle Busch: "It was going
through there like Free Willie." We love that! What
aisle is the free willie on, anyway? Nine? OK, thanks.
Tony led at the restart with 10 to go and held off
everyone to win. Stopping on the stripe, the
victorious Tony climbed out then climbed the fence,
Indy-style, up to the flagstand, where he jubilated
over his first-ever Daytona win. This looked
spontaneous -- except it looked scripted in that there
was a camera there for an extreme close-up of Tony as
he climbed. Then, however, he seemed to have that
scary moment -- we all know it -- when you've got to
get DOWN off whatever it was you climbed up on. He
seemed to slip, and one of the announcers even worried
aloud for his safety. Later, as he climbed out in
Victory Lane, Tony admitted he is "too fat to be
climbing fences." As Tony described his win, Band-Aid
size pieces of confetti drifted from above and adhered
to his glistening, victorious visage.
SHE STARTED IT!
Speaking of Tony, it's funny that he won after his
weekend got off to such a shaky start, publicity-wise.
I won't try to tell it all, but go to Audrey Parente's
article "Lady Meets 'Bad Boy'" in the Daytona-Beach
News Journal. It seems everyone admits there was some
driving dispute in the tunnel and infield at Daytona
International Speedway. Did Tony run up at a woman
yelling, "Bitch, what is your problem?" Did the lady
in question actually stop short in front of Tony, then
race up behind him and flip him off? Like I said, it's
a complicated story, so you should make up your own
mind.
CAN WE TALK?
This gay Pride season, I've got something on my mind
and I just want to spit it out. I am so very sick of
getting bad news about people related to their use of
crystal meth. Everybody likes to party and we all love
fun, but it is time to call this shit out for what it
is. I am really over watching nice people got nuts on
this stuff, and I just want to get on the record
saying we would all, gay and straight, be a lot better
off without out it. Thanks for letting me say that.
It sure was great to see some racing from Daytona,
even if it took half the night! Thanks for stopping by
the trailer, y'all! Chicago! Are you ready? Let's all
meet up down at the Track Bar!
Love,
Betty Jack DeVine
E ME at Bettyjack@gaytona.com
