Welcome, gay NASCAR fans!
Congratulations to this week's winner, Greg Biffle. The first Saturday
night race at Darlington proved to be quite exciting. No doubt talk of
the possibility of Darlington losing its last race help whup up the
crowd -- it was sold out.
We would have loved for Saturday's result to have gone the way of our
DeVine 9 1/2 fantasy team, but that didn't happen. Kasey, Ryan and Jeff
all looked like potential winners at various points, but we ended up
with Biffle.
Now, a word of explanation: As I mentioned last week, I traveled to
South Crazyland to visit Mother DeVine for Mother's Day, and I am in fact
filing this report via "report" from the Old Home Place. Have you ever
read "Sanctuary," and Faulkner's glorious description of the Old
Frenchman Place, hidden miles and miles back up in the country, swimming in darkness and heat and mystery? Well, that's sort of where I'm at
tonight. Kerosene runs the computer; squirrels power the back-up generator;
and a saucer of sweet jasmine oil, balanced on my head just so, attracts
the fireflies that make it possible to read my notes. Owing to these
natural limitations, my column this week will be somewhat brief.
As we were enjoying cocktails overlooking the wilderness, we lost track
of the time and so I did not get to catch the pre-race activities. I
inferred from what went on later that they were heavily mom-centric. I
understand from an article I read in The Frequent Coot (the local paper
here) that NASCAR has been very touchy about Mother's Day weekend since
sometime back in the '70s, when a Cup track had a horrible turnout on an
otherwise perfect Mother's Day and everyone blamed the holiday, and
trembled at the awesome sway of Ma.
Going into the weekend, everyone was all abuzz about crazy Jimmie
Johnson -- Jr. said during the week that Jimmie was an idiot, and Jimmie
came back with a shrug and a "that's racin." I might accept that from a
driver I'm partial to, but not this guy. Say, has anybody else noticed
the great similarities between Jimmie and Baby Gerald, that obviously
evil infant who appears on "The Simpsons" every once in a surprising
while? Check out Baby Gerald on the reruns sometime, note the unibrow, and
tell me I"m wrong. As Springfield's Mayor Quimby often wonders, "What's Baby Gerald going to be up tp next?" The same must be said about that shifty JJ.
Kasey was on the pole when the green flag waved, and night racing
kicked off in Darlington! The caution was out almost immediately as Kurt
Bush spun and hit the inside wall on the front stretch. Behind the wall he
went.
Kasey was leading at the restart. At lap 6, caution strikes again
as Mikey spins, thanks to help from Jeff Green. Boy, did this turn out
to be the fight to watch at Darlington! Kasey led at the restart, but
by lap 34, Biffle was out in front by 3 seconds.
At lap 41, we got a caution for debris. At lap 77, Jimmie Johnson took over from Greg Biffle. Mikey came back, 34 laps down, and looking none too happy. In an interview while they worked on his tore-up racecar, Mikey invoked Mother's Day and said his mother told him not to say anything if he couldn't say something nice, so he'd best not say anything. Soon, however, let his #15 do plenty of talking to Mr. Green's #43.
The caution was out at lap 80 for the #43 hitting the wall. Next, the caution came out for Kenny Wallace's spin at lap 95. Jeff Gordon lead some laps in here. We had Kasey and Carl running 2nd and 3rd for a bit. Casey Mears got into the wall but there was not a caution. At lap 147, Mikey bumped Jeff Green some more!
At lap 155, our boy Carl Edwards took the lead -- his first run
upfront since his sensational sweep of Busch and Cup in Atlanta! We had
green flag pits stops, and a caution debris. Soon, Green was a-spinning
again -- this time Mikey got him good! You would never know these two
boys are from the same hometown, of Owensboro, Ky.! Or, on the other
hand, maybe you would. This time, NASCAR made Mikey observe a time-out.
Jeremy Mayfield, perhaps still angry at not being drafted for the DeVine
91/2 this year, got into it with Dave Blaney and damaged the 07 "Drink
Responsibily" car, which is better-known to most of us as the "Jack
Daniels Gets Smashed" ride. Under yellow, Kasey takes the lead on pit lane and the crowd goes wild!
At lap 126, Kvapil and Riggs got together in Turn 1. (Does anyone else thing Scott Riggs looks ever-so-much like a cute chimp?) On fresh tires, Jimmie tracked everyone relentlessly. With 85 to go, the caution flew for Kyle Busch, who cut a right front. Biffle led them off pit road. The 11th caution was for debris.
With 46 to go, Ryan took it away from Biffle! Go Ryan! Then Jeff Gordon took 2nd and things were looking much better. With four laps to go, Mark Martin spun, but expertly kept it on track and only lost a spot. Ryan stayed out; Biffle pitted and the fresher tires and the #16 got it. A great performance by our team, though.
Well friends, I hate to cut this short, but my connection is breaking up as the kerosene can runs dry, and the squirrels in the generator are barking tired, and the fireflies have paired off and headed for the bushes. Therefore, I'll stop for this week and see everyone for a big night race next Saturday in Richmond! Let's all meet up down at the Track Bar!
Love,
Betty Jack DeVine
E ME at Bettyjack@gaytona.com
