Welcome, gay Nascar fans! Well it was a racy night in Richmond Saturday with Joe Nemechek taking the win and our DeVine 91/2 taking five of the top 10 spots. Dale Jr., Martin, Harvick and Busch all had some time in the front.

We want to send our best wishes out to Jerry Nadeau, who got bad hurt this week in a practice crash. We're all pulling for you to recover completely, Jerry.

Jamie McMurray had a good day and was a favorite among our little gang of tipplers and fops -- for a while, he took the queen's share of the friendly wagering we were doing amongst ourselves down at the Secret Race Den! We even resorted to our ultimate secret weapon: Chanting "JAMIE! JAMIE! JAMIE!" then licking the salt, downing the tequila and sucking the lime! We call this maneuver "Helping Jamie" as in, "Shouldn't we Help Jamie some more?"

But alas, after a mighty march up the speedway, Jamie's car fell back with 56 to go. Stay on them Jamie and you'll do fine next time!

Congrats to all the members of our little fantasy team -- the DeVine 91/2 are holding down six of the top 10 points positions, and ALL the top four! Go, you foxy track monkeys, go, I say!

NOW IF THEY COULD JUST X-RAY THROUGH THOSE FIRE-SUITS...

Fox may be a fountain of evil -- as its top show "The Simpsons" frequently maintains -- but its race coverage just gets more and more fabulous! At the night race Saturday, the new heat-seeking "Thermal Cam" was simply hypnotic -- it was like a psychedelic sand painting come to speedy life! As it turned the track blue and the race cars and red and hot, the colors reminded me of the old blacklight poster room at the Gay Dolphin (Poster Annex) in Myrtle Beach. Does anybody know what I'm talking about? Holler if you hear me!

And over at Janet and Sue's trailer, where we looked at the race, the Thermal Cam seemed to be making foxy CJ all trancy and sexed-up or something! Thank you, Thermal Cam and thank you, Fox!

CRUISY CHIEF, SUPERSTAR

With so many races being won and lost on pit road, crew chiefs are the new "Hillarys" to the racers "Bills" in terms of media coverage. We've already expressed our fondness for Bootie Barker, crew chief for Dave Blaney's #77 -- Bootie (who wouldn't reveal, in the interview I saw, where the nickname came from) has gorgeous droopy eyes and a devilishly cute Southern accent. As a wheelchair user (the result of a teenage car wreck), he's also a swell role model for handicapped folks. Frequent visitors will know that, in addition to "Helping Jamie," we also take a swig whenever the announcers say "Bootie Barker."

On Sunday, we also enjoyed hearing from Michael "Fatback" McSwain, crew chief to the #18 Interstate Batteries car driven by Bobby Labonte. We're used to seeing racers wearing sporty sunglasses, but the shades Fatback was modeling on Sunday just screamed "Rocky Horror Picture Show," or some other half-drag extravaganza! They were orangey-pink and kind of star-shaped. Good work Fatback for getting your guy up to 2nd place this week!

NO, MARY! REALLY, MARY?

Poor Ryan Newman! He got wrecked out again on Saturday but got back in the race. Later, one announcer (Hammond?) said of the leaders approaching the lap traffic, "And here they come up to the 12 car, and he's trying to get out of the way." The other guy (Larry Mac?) said, "And he should get out of the way! He's 116 laps back!"

SPEEDWAY SHOUT-OUTS!

I want to wish a big happy birthday to ARGE, who did the gorgeous www.Gaytona.com logo! ARGE will be in the ATL for a few weeks this month, and he will celebrate his birthday at the Metro on Monday, May 12. Come out and buy him a cocktail!

Hello also to Sharon, who writes, "I'm a big fan of your web site (and the DeVine 9 1/2), even though I am a straight chick." Well honey we love us some straight chicks! Y'all come on up in the trailer!

Thanks to everyone who's been writing in -- let us know where all are at, and how y'all do it over there!

This week I want to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day -- we'll be taking another week off for the holiday, then let's all get together for the Winston on May 17!