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Betty Jack's Track Yack

Betty Jack's Track Yack: Pocono 500



Welcome gay NASCAR fans! And a special welcome this week to everyone who's visiting after reading that article in the Advocate! I have not seen it yet and look forward to doing so. I had a good time talking to reporter Christopher Tkaczyk -- his name sounded so familiar, I thought maybe I'd seen him in one of those cute Bel Ami movies, but he insisted I was mistaken. (I'm rewatching my whole collection, just to make sure!)

Congratulations to Tony Stewart, who on Sunday scored his first win since August 2002. The defending Winston cup champ had a long string of bad luck and definitely needed this win -- or, like, somebody might have gotten bitch-slapped or something!

Going into the weekend's competition, some of the race jocks were so steamed I thought they would be snatching wigs and slinging pocketbooks by the time the green flag waved! There was the ongoing thing with Sterling Marlin getting really tired of Jeff Gordon spinning him out over and over, and there was Tony Stewart, still just mad enough to spit about not getting his lap back from Ryan Newman at Dover.

The FOX team skillfully played up the controversy, even seeming to disagree among themselves as to whether Tony was being a baby, and whether Jeff was really getting kind of wrecky. When the FOX guys go into that high-gossip mode, you can almost close your eyes and convince yourself they're a bunch of country women spending Saturday chewing the fat at the beauty parlor!

Despite the finish under caution and some long green-flag racing, Sunday's event was not without spectacle. Kenny Schrader rode out a backwards flaming upside down crash that was hella scary, and Dale Jarrett, too, wrecked out in a fiery crash. Happily, both guys got out and walked away.

Our little fantasy team made up ALL the top five spots at Pocono, and our guys are in six of the top 10 positions in Winston Cup points! Again and again, I ask myself, why am I not betting real money on this stuff???

RACE STARS IN HOT TUB BIG MONKEY PILE-UP!

Again on Sunday, the FOX team showed why they -- and their writers -- rule. In a taped comedy bit, announcers Jeff Hammond and Mike Joy were told at their Pocono hotel's front desk that they would need to share a honeymoon suite. They say sure, whatever. Then, Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Harvick check in for their second honeymoon -- and are sent to the same room! When they let themselves in, Jeff and Mike are in the hot tub, chin-deep in bubble-bath, laughing and sipping champagne! Then, rather than fight over the room, Kevin and the Mrs. decide to join the fun -- but as he's about to get in the tub, Kevin snarls, "you guys keep your hands above the water." Group sex and Nascar! Sweeet!

SPEAKING OF KEVIN...

We loved seeing Kevin Harvick on Friday night's "Trackside" show on Speed. Kevin brought his doggy, a huge German Shepherd named Indy! The dog was very well-mannered; Kevin said he is a certified protection dog but is now so relaxed he has probably forgotten all his commands. Either way, he's a gorgeous dog!

Kevin was so funny weighing in on the Gordon/Marlin flap. We got the feeling he was only half-kidding when he said, in a goofy voice, "I like it when we get mad! I think Sterling should just go out there and wreck Jeff Gordon!" What a wacky dude! You go, Kevin!

OUR READERS WRITE!

I got this charming letter from Khris:

"I just wanted to voice my support for your gay NASCAR Web site. As a gay black male who has appreciated NASCAR since I was a kid, it's a blessing to know that I'm not the only gay man that likes stock car racing. My biggest dream was to race a stock car, but have yet to grow the balls to do so."

Wow, thanks Khris! If you become a stock car racer, maybe you can give me a real good deal on sponsoring your hood! My head would look bizarre on there, but it wouldn't be as scary as Carrot Top!

And a new visitor, Bob writes:

"Nice story in the Advocate. Didn't know this site existed. BTW, where are you located?"

Thanks Bob! We are in the ATL most of the time, but we do love to fire up the Park Avenue and visit other sectors of this great, wacky country! Let me know where you're writing from, and if you have extra room for a few days, and if we can bring the puppies, you know...

Thanks for stopping in at our little trailer by the racetrack, friends Let's all get together Sunday for the Michigan 400!


Love,
Betty Jack DeVine
E ME at Bettyjack@bellsouth.net