Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! Pop goes the Mikey! After winning Sunday's incredibly thrilling speedfest at Talladega, Michael Waltrip exited the #15 Chevy by popping up through its newly installed roof safety hatch. It was a perfect photo op for a cute dude who really shines in the spotlight -- Congratulations on your second Winston Cup victory this year, Mikey!

All through Sunday's race, I kept watching the crowd to see somebody, anybody, sit down, but I never did. The electricity of it shot right through the TV -- on my porch, we were shouting and screaming right along with the fans at the track!

Going into the weekend, all eyes were on Dale Jr. After being hauled unconscious from the #8 after that crash at Dover, Dale was finally cleared by the doctors to race. Everyone wondered if he could make it five Talladegas in a row, but things looked bad for him when an infraction revealed during post-qualifying inspection got him kicked to the back of the pack (he'd qualified 11th). In an interview, Dale said he had been afraid he'd still be on crutches at Talladega, and he felt like people would talk about him if he had been. Also, Jr. said his mother was really excited during the Miss America pageant when Miss Louisiana said she was a big fan of NASCAR and Baby E! His mama said she was thrilled, as a pageant watcher for 30 years, to hear her boy mentioned on it! We loved that part of the pageant too; I even voted for Miss Louisiana, in our gaming, because of that remark.

In a pre-race feature, we got to meet Ryan Newman's fiancee Chrissy Boyle. Ryan said he was "my first and last blind date." She is a real cute girl but is not one of these showgirl types that some guys go for. I think she looks sweet. Chrissy, you better treat our Ryan right, you hear?

The prayer was offered by little Krista and Robbie Allison, the children of Davey Allison, who died in a helicopter crash at Talladega 10 years ago. There was a lot of veneration of the Alabama Gang this week; Jamie McMurray went to Hueytown to pay tribute to the Allisons (Davey drove for Havoline, which is Jamie's sponsor). The children said a sweet prayer and remembered our poor soldiers in the war, as we all should every day.

Collin Raye served up the National Anthem, and made the song climax right as the four war planes arrived. That's some precision singing, son.

And who gave the start command? None other than that completely gorgeous Ericka Dunlap, our new Miss America! Erika was totally the favorite among the high-rollers betting around my bar during the pageant. She sings country music, has worked at Opryland, and now she's started the race at Talladega! I love it! I mean, if Enimem can be a hot white dude who's the top rapper, it's a perfect balance that Miss America would be a hot black chick who's into country music and NASCAR!

We loved the front-row line-up: Elliott Sadler on the inside and Jamie running up top! Sweet! Jamie took the lead pretty quick, holding down laps 2-13.

There was a six-car crash when Jeremy lost a left rear tire and ran up into that cute Larry Foyt. Jeremy said he was real sorry. Then there was some beating and banging on pit road before we went back green.

This week we welcomed back Buckshot Jones! With his cute face and adorable name, Buckshot might have been on the DeVine 91/2 if he'd had a steady ride this year; this was just his second start. Buckshot is from The ATL burbs, so we love that. He led 19 laps but got caught in a wreck and finished 40th.

For a soon-to-be winner, Mikey sure whined a lot. He sounded way crazy on the radio a couple of times, singing one time, then complaining bitterly about how Slugger Labbie and the team had put the wrong gear in the car. Wrong gear? Better give it to everybody else -- I know they want it now!

Well sir, Jamie got attacked by that Army car coming onto pit lane. so Dixie and I got the bright idea to "help Jamie," like we love to do with shots of that delicious chilled Sauza Hornitos tequila! Man, that's a good shot! Soon enough, Jamie was slicing his way up through the pack! Go Jamie! (Talladega is special to Jamie because he made his Winston Cup debut there last season.) The next time Jamie came in, Donnie Wingo and crew had prepared nice fancy pieces of tape that fixed the car's nose just right, and he was up front again!

In an amusing moment, Jeff Gordon complained that Jimmie Johnson was "up my butt" and told his team to tell Jimmie to back off. Jimmie's #48 got spun one time after Jr. knocked Mikey up into him.

Soon enough, Jr. got the "lucky dog pass," being on the front of the first lap down when the caution waved. Mikey got penalized for a catch can violation in the pits about this time.

Winston Cup points leader Matt Kenseth had his first DNF of the season; he blamed it on "bad parts." Duh! Have you driven a Ford lately?

Elliott Sadler went for one of the scariest rides any of us had ever seen, with his car flipping first across the grass, then back up on the track. He flipped five times in all. We were all scared senseless -- so glad to see him climb out and, and to know he was treated and released at the hospital.

This late crash caused the race to be red-flagged. When it was restarted, Mikey was incredible in holding off all challengers, including Dale Jr., who had valiantly overcome his poor starting position and some front-end damage. In what was a truly brilliant move, right out of a movie, as they roared toward the checkers, Mikey swept high, then low, to block Gordon, Harvick and Jr., all at once! After the flag, another crash wrecked several more cars.

All in all, a truly unbelievable day at the track! Our DeVine 91/2 team members held down spots 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7, and now we still have seven of the top 10 in points. Dale Jr. knocked Jimmie out of 3rd spot (we appreciate it, bud) and Tony Stewart took over 9th from Terry Labonte.

WILL AMERICA STAND FOR GETTING ROBBED BLIND?

I must pass along the information below, which came directly from Friday's Washington Post. Friends, the money Bush is talking about spending on these insane projects, and the money that will be used to pay back Saddam's pre-war debt to the world (those gold toilets ain't cheap!) is money that you and I made typing, flipping burgers, preaching, washing cars, cleaning teeth, taking care of babies, or whatever it is we do. We worked hard for it, and now they are going to shove it down a rat hole (no doubt ensuring that companies owned by their contributors get a fat chunk).

This man Bush -- who my 80-something uncle in South Crazyland blasts as "a diss-ass-tuh" -- is squandering the heritage of affluence and freedom that generations of Americans struggled to build.

Read the following excerpts, and tell me it doesn't make your blood boil:

Friday, September 26, 2003; Page A01
"A new curriculum for training an Iraqi army for $164 million. Five hundred experts, at $200,000 each, to investigate crimes against humanity. A witness protection program for $200,000 per Iraqi participant. A computer study for the Iraqi postal service: $54 million. Such numbers, buried in President Bush's $20.3 billion request for Iraq's reconstruction, have made some congressional Republicans nervous, even furious. Although the GOP leadership has tried to unite publicly around its president, cracks are beginning to show. ... Those details include $100 million to build seven planned communities with a total of 3,258 houses, plus roads, an elementary school, two high schools, a clinic, a place of worship and a market for each; $10 million to finance 100 prison-building experts for six months, at $100,000 an expert; 40 garbage trucks at $50,000 each; $900 million to import petroleum products such as kerosene and diesel to a country with the world's second-largest oil reserves; and $20 million for a four-week business course, at $10,000 per student. ... Already, the administration's request for $400 million to build two 4,000-bed prisons at $50,000 a bed has raised enough questions in Congress to force Provisional Authority Administrator L. Paul Bremer to explain that cement must be imported to make concrete. Rep. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) urged that the administration press nations such as France, Russia and Germany to forgive some of Iraq's $200 billion foreign debt, which Bremer conceded is now the United States' responsibility."

Thanks for letting me vent about that. Please take a moment out of your schedule at work today -- if you're lucky enough to still be working -- and call your Congress people and tell them to stop this insane nonsense now! Bring the troops home, and IMPEACH BUSH!

Good luck this week, racing buds and babes. Let's get together again on Sunday for the race at Kansas! See y'all at the Track Bar!